Why is it Only Speaking Ill When You Like the Dead?

      

     For the entirety of m life on this third rock from the sun, I have witnessed people disparage the victims of police brutality and more.  Especially with the advent of social media, global citizens will dredge up any amount of wrongdoing on the part of the victim as a measure of justifying their deaths.  People have even spoken ill of the victims of school massacres.  Claiming that the victims were actors and even suggesting that their murders never occurred.  

     YET, Queen Colonizer of England perishes due to old age and a broken incestuous heart, and heaven forbid anyone from reminding the ultra-white UK that she was NOT a patron saint.  Now it is "talking ill of the dead" when speaking on her sins and blind eye turning.  

     Let us discuss this "don't talk ill of the dead" mess.  I have heard this for as long as I can remember when someone passes on people like or instantly turn into a martyr because the earth now wants to house them within its bosom.  Speaking "ill" denotes LYING about the life of a person once they are no longer present to defend themselves for the remainder of eternity.  IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN NOT SPEAK OF HOW VILE THEY WERE AS THEY ROAMED THE EARTH!!!!

     Rewriting who a person was post-mortem is the most "speaking ill of the dead" thing that you can do because you are telling little to NO truths regarding them.  STOP with portraying someone after death as some fantastical character because that is how you wanted them to be in death and you need them to be now so that you can avoid doing the work to heal/fix yourself.

  For example, many don't want the truth discussed regarding Queen Columbuser because that would mean that they must address their racism.  Also, there are many that don't want to admit that they look at her as a replacement for their maternal mamaws and have placed upon her characteristics, traits, good deeds, and memories that never manifested.  

    On a more commoner front, many refuse to allow the truth about a deceased family member or friend to be discussed, because no one wants to admit how complicit they were.  No one wants to admit how they covered for or condoned their deeds.  No one wants to admit now that they are traumatized from the abuse suffered at their hands.  Even when the discussions were prevalent during their lifetime.  Once they pass on, they are magically presented with a mythical life's tale that would rival that of any Disney princess.

     Yet you wonder why families can not evolve beyond generational trauma and the world can not evolve out of racism.  You keep up all contained in a groundhog day of trauma and denial because you don't want to disparage your idols after death nor do you want to address your internal issues.  

     Here's a novel idea...instead of putting so much energy into telling people not to speak ill of the dead, you work on why you are afraid of the truth remaining at the surface.