Is the Black Community Really a(n) (Undercover) Matriarchy?

      I know that it has been widely agreed that the US is a patriarchy and so are all of the subcultures contained within its borders.  My question is...does this truly apply to the Black community?  Before you start arguing with me or proclaiming that I am reaching...realize I am questioning, NOT being definitive.  Now please hear me out.  

     If our community truly bought into the concept of the patriarchy...why is so much contingent upon Black women?

     Black women are called upon to lead, nurture, provide for, and more for our families.  Black men are consistently leaning on us to be their therapists, caretakers, and more.  Black men take great pride in bragging about their grandmothers and mothers sacrificing and carrying entire families on their backs.  How often are we told about Black men doing this? Grandfathers and fathers are noted as providing financially (at times) but not as being the glue for the family and/or community.  It is the men that are sought after for guidance or approval or comfort. 

     So why are our men deciding to cosplay the patriarchy?

     There are a number of Black men that want to be the head of the household while splitting everything financially (only) as a way to present a facade of patriarchy.  Many want to be taken care of (in multiple aspects) desiring women to take the lead in reality while they appear to be the head of household "in front of the company".  What does that say to you? Does this sound like the men of the community are in the lead overall? 

     Historically, we descend from a people that were not under the systems forced upon us within the confines of this country.  The more I look at our community, the more I am seeing that we have not strayed (as Black women) from our roots.  Black men (a subset of them) are trying to fit into a mold that was never meant for them as a means to have adjacency to White men and male privilege.  

    So...why fight against what is (seemingly) beneficial to our community overall?

     It has ALWAYS been a detriment to the Black community to assimilate into the European standard of life, so why are we trying so hard to do so when it comes to the patriarchy.  We are comfortable within a matriarchy, even though we do not (collectively) admit that is where we fit.  Ask yourself why we are keeping our matriarchy (as a community) undercover?